The Ones We Hate Are Just The Ones We're Scared of Becoming

• Posted by Dez Fontaine May 24 Filed in Arts & Culture #personal growth  #Authenticity  #pop culture  #self-awareness  #criticism  35 views
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  I been thinking about how we treat the pop culture figures we actually despise, and it's wild how much energy we throw at people we claim not to care about. Like, if you really didn't care, you wouldn't be in the comments typing paragraphs about why they're trash. You'd just scroll past. But we don't. We stop. We engage. We get mad.

  And here's the thing nobody wants to say out loud - we hate them hardest when they're doing something we want to do but don't have the guts for. Think about it. The influencer living their best life off brand deals and followers? We say they're fake and vapid. The actor who took a risk on a weird indie project that didn't land? We say they're pretentious and washed up. The musician who switched genres and lost half their fanbase? We say they sold out. But what's really happening is we're watching someone make choices we're too scared to make ourselves, and that scares us more than we want to admit.

  I used to hate on this one skateboarder who went mainstream, did the sponsorship route, started showing up on mainstream media. Got all corporate looking. And I was ruthless about it. Talked trash constantly. But one day I was honest with myself and realized I was mad because he actually did the thing. He committed. He went for it fully, no half measures, and whether it worked or not, he owned it completely. Meanwhile I'm still hedging my bets, keeping one foot in the underground so I got a safe place to fall back to if things don't work out.

  The pop culture figures we despise the most are usually the ones reflecting back something we don't want to see in ourselves. The hustle we won't commit to. The authenticity we're too guarded to show. The ambition we're afraid to claim. The failure we're terrified of experiencing publicly. So instead of dealing with that internal friction, we project it all outward and make them the problem. Make their choices the thing that's wrong, not our own hesitation.

  It's easier to be a critic than a participant. Way easier. Critics don't risk anything. They just sit back and point fingers and feel superior. But that superiority is just another word for scared. It's a costume we wear so we don't have to admit we're too chicken to try what they tried.

  And look, not every pop culture move is good. There's definitely real critiques to be made. But when you notice yourself getting heated about someone's choices, ask yourself why. Is it actually bad, or are you threatened by their willingness to be visible while taking risks? Are you mad at them or mad at yourself for playing it safe?

  Because here's what I figured out - the ones we hate most are just holding up a mirror we don't want to look in. And that's on us, not them.

  What's a pop culture figure you've been hard on lately? Get real with yourself about why.