Skateboarding Saved Me From Becoming Who My Parents Wanted

• Posted by Dez Fontaine Fri at 11:30 AM Filed in Personal #personal growth  #Identity  #skateboarding culture  #youth rebellion  #family expectations  21 views
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  I never talk about this part. The part where my mom literally cried when I said I wasn't going to college. She thought I was throwing my life away for some toy. My pops didn't even cry, he just got quiet, which was somehow worse. That silence hit different than yelling ever could.

  But here's what they couldn't see from where they were standing. Skateboarding wasn't me being reckless or giving up. It was me saying no to a script that was already written before I got born. And that's actually the whole thing right there. Once you realize you can learn a kickflip, once you understand that your body can do something your brain didn't think was possible, you start asking bigger questions. Like what else have I been told was impossible that's actually just difficult? What else am I supposed to accept without testing it first?

  The concrete doesn't care about your GPA. It doesn't want your credentials. It just wants to know if you're willing to fall down and get back up. And when you spend enough time learning that lesson in your bones, not just hearing it as some motivational poster bullshit, something shifts inside you. You stop needing permission to exist as you are.

  My parents came to a session once. Didn't say much while they were there. But I caught my pops watching this one attempt where I ate concrete pretty hard, got up, dusted off, and went right back to it. He had this look on his face I'd never seen before. Not disappointment. Not pride exactly either. Just like he was seeing something he didn't have words for.

  Years later my mom told me she realized I wasn't running away from anything. I was running toward something. That the courage it takes to disappoint people you love is maybe the truest kind of courage there is.

  That's what skateboarding actually taught me. Not just the tricks. The willingness to be wrong in public.

  What made you realize you had to stop living for other people's expectations?